Jesus and his resurection

So, Jesus comes back from the grave, and he approaches you. He'll ask you how you're going to repent for your earthly sins. Where are you, and what do you say?

I would be sitting in a coffee shop, maybe just writing, and in would walk Jesus.

There is a Jesus in the city. A lot of them, actually, but it's a Hispanic town, so it's pronounced "Hey-seus."

The Jesus I'm reffering to happens to be a drug dealer. He'd walk in, offer me some coke at the price of a small child in Mexico starving, and then! Then in would walk the head honcho.

I'd get outta my chair and say, "Hey man, I thought you died."

and he'd say "Yeah, I did."

"Right on"

"So, your sins....how do you justify them?"

"well you died for them."

"Liz! That's Lame, and you know it!"

"Okay, okay, the truth is, I didn't believe in this whole catholic scheme. I thought they were just making money, and improve the reaches of their cult. I thought I could sin all I wanted, and it wouldn't matter because I'd die, and be burried, and that'd be that."

"Have a little more faith next time. The Lord works in mysterious ways."

"Yeah, no shit! But how do you explain catholicism?"

"Well, you see," Jesus says, sitting down, and taking off his sandles, " the Bible isn't really what happened. My old man sent me out for some milk"

"but what about Mary?" asks Drug Dealer Jesus.

"Oh, that? My 'mom'? ha! a lie. A stupid catholic lie."

"So, Jesus,"

"Yes?" they both would answer.

"Recently awoken from the grave Jesus."

"Yes, my child?"

"You were saying?"

"Oh, right. Dad sent me out for some milk, and I got kidnapped by these 3 guys with masks. They brain washed me, told me I'm some miracle worker, and say 'Dude, we've got a magic hat, and a bunny...all you have to do, is play along, and you'll have all the milk your dad could ever want.' This sounded like a good deal to me. Oh, how was I naieve."

"So what happened?"

"Well, they brain washed me, like I said, and made me work all these 'miracles' water into wine, and the whole bit. They really just switched the jugs on that one. Then, well, you know the rest." Jesus would say, putting back on his sandles.

"Wow. You should make like a lifetime movie..."